Metgasco’s “Community Consultative”: a Moment of Hilarity for the Bentley Blockade

I am old enough to have studied Latin in high school. It helps make me a good speller.

 A moment of hilarity

And today, Latin provided a moment of hilarity in battle to bring Metgasco to see reason about gas mining in the Northern Rivers.

The goss now is that Metgasco is encouraging its shareholders to write to the Minister Anthony Roberts and the Office of Coal Seam Gas and say – wait for it – that the community consultation they undertook for the Bentley tight sands gas site was excellent.

I gagged when I heard it.

So I thought I’d better have a look online at Metgasco’s community consultation policies – to give me something to assess them by.

Well, that’s where the Latin came in!

Here is the website at 10:35 am on Thursday 22 May 2014. For posterity.

 

 

 

I can easily imagine the desperate in-house conversation in the Metgasco office, which would have gone something like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fred, we gotta get some sort of consultation policy online while we’re negotiating with the Minster and the Office of Coal Seam Gas.

You know that stuff. It’s easy to write. Just a few bullet points. Any sort of placeholder will do, Fred.

Just get something up and get it up quickly and make sure it’s got all the usual buzzwords in it. Got that, Fred?

  And Fred (or Freda), bless their heart, did not realise that on a website and a blog you have an option to go public. (Or stay private.)

Metgasco is public with their ungrammatical “Community Consultative” Latin page.

Here’s what it says in Latin.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Community Consultative

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Quisque egestas leo a purus feugiat et mattis augue mattis. Nullam sagittis tempus enim ut laoreet.

Nulla mollis, est vel accumsan dictum, ante tortor ultricies enim, eu fermentum purus est at augue. Praesent scelerisque erat vel ante tempus tempor. Nunc imperdiet auctor eros nec mattis.Phasellus interdum varius tellus id bibendum. Mauris elementum mauris auctor magna venenatis vitae luctus libero imperdiet.

Nam euismod, arcu a accumsan malesuada, sem mauris vestibulum libero, sed rutrum mi eros vel augue.

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 And here’s what an on-line translation yielded. My favourite line is this:

I’m a great quiver just, do not worry yeast.

 

Translation:

 But the hatred unless, on the fringe of EU is at times in the is various cancer cells? Learn some Tips for the same protein drink. Each and just now. Korea’s beef, whether the scenario is immigration processing! So sometimes it’s the tips on how to decorate the likelihood of protein is an important investment.

 Americans spent to improve the park fun and exciting. Technology that your kids for their vehicle, the vehicles targeted options.

 Anyone want a lot of research and a lot of travel attitude. Here’s arrows, for the time is to be proud of.

 No soft or scientific sense, window glass for computer troubleshooting is free at the company. It’s a crime, either at the time. Now the financing of the United States or mattis. Phasellus sometimes variable region this dynamic. Important source of data elements to create the magic of free software financing.

 For more, player-oriented styling, a lot of drugs manufacturing department, but to help my team or organization.

 It’s chocolate, the mass of the football a lot of protein, my dear, unless the element of the Internet, which of the players Bureau to the righteous, It’s OK. Developers across the various equity and real estate is the seller. I’m a great quiver just, do not worry yeast. It’s modern, but it was effective employee. It’s the United States, the just, the kids that time had been when, easy of a bonus.

 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If this is what Metgasco want us to read about their community consultation policy, that’s fine with me because it accords perfectly with that we’ve experienced in this region. That it’s incomprehensible.

I live only 40 kilometres from the proposed Bentley gas well.

I am here, on my half-acre property — just up the road. Waiting.

Nobody knocked on my door, nobody rang, emailed or asked my opinion in any form.

And I get lots of mail and the local post office is very reliable.

I get lots of phone calls and emails.

All my communication systems are working fine. Metgasco: the problem of non-communication must be at your end.

Or:

• Am I not a “stakeholder?”

• Not living close enough?

• Not likely to be affected?

• Not seeking influence?

• Not caring about my health and that of my community?

• Not one of the “usual suspects”?

Until this morning, I thought Metgasco’s community consultation policy did not exist.

Now I know it does exist.

But it’s in Latin.

I think I’ll keep my gate locked, just in case.

While I wait for the English version of Metgasco’s “Community Consultative”, whatever that is….

And while I wait for the phone to ring.

UPDATE 5:14 pm May 22nd:

Fred or Freda are on the job at Metgasco.

A neighbour emails that “Community Consultative” (in Latin) has been removed from the Metgasco website.

In its place, a long, self justifying letter from the Chair about how great the community consultation has been and how it’s even better than the State Government’s community consultation. Eek!

I searched for the Metgasco Community Relations Policy while I was at it. It’s half a page of bullet points!

These folks need help!

Meanwhile, the rest of us must go gently.